My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
