Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
