you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
