Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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