My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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