So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
