She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
