there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize