Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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