Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
