is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
