i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
so let's talk penis.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I can't turn off my feet"
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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