So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
