I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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