Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Say something about gay babies.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
