"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
