Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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