Im at strip club and am horny
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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