Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
