last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
