office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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