I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
