i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
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