Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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