4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
