sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
