Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
