I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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