How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Randomize
