I look better un-naked...
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
