No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
