Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Randomize
