I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
home. puking in laundry basket.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
