Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
A bitchslap is in order.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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