after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
