Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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