I CAN MOONWALK!
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
