I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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