I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
