He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
