he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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