i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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