My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
