I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
