party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
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