I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
this boner is exhausting
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
