You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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