All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
