I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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