The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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