well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
