yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
