today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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