She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize
