I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
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