Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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