Jerry, you need to find god
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
