I CAN MOONWALK!
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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