It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Randomize
