No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
