I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
