i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
