I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
