even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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