I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
