I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
